A letter to my firstborn

Dear Cooper:

Every since this pregnancy was confirmed, you have been my No. 1 thought. No matter what, you are my first baby, the one that made me a mama and taught me so much.

There was a time that I thought I could never love another baby as much as you. To be honest, I'm still a little unsure. How could anyone ever duplicate what we have (even though you are a Daddy's boy who I am sure hates me 50% of the time.) I totally could have seen my life with you as an only child.

But believe it or not, you are a big part of the reason we wanted to have another baby. We want you to have that best friend. If anything happens to your Daddy and I, we want you to have another piece of us that you can lean on and support. And to be brutally honest, we believe you will learn more life lessons as a big brother than any other way. You will learn so much about sharing, not being a brat, and things that we believe can only be taught with a sibling in the home. Because let's face it, you are pretty spoiled right now and need to be knocked off your pedestal a notch.

People always ask if this is my first, then when they hear I have another, what the age difference is. And how you will handle it. Honestly? I think you will be the best big brother. You already seem to love this little one. Most nights before bed when we give kisses, you have to hug and kiss my belly and tell Tootie (your nickname for the baby) "I love you soooo much!" You are learning that all the things you used as a baby or have outgrown will be used again and seem thrilled by it. About a month ago, we finally decided it was time to take your well-loved boots out of the closet as they were getting tight, and you took them to the nursery "for baby sister!"

You're pretty funny, because for the longest time you said Tootie was a baby sister, but now you state "She's a boy like Daddy and me."

I pray that, boy or girl, you will be this baby's protector, best friend, and most of all, a good example.

Just the other day, I took you for doughnuts since you were such a good boy during your haircut and we had about 20 minutes to burn before picking up a prescription. I'm feeling pretty emotional lately, and watching your sweet face as you ate the treat, licked glaze off your fingers and drank milk just about made me lose it.

On one hand, I feel like I'm about to turn your world upside down. But on the other, I truly feel that we are giving you the greatest gift. You get to be a big brother and have a little sibling. Someone who will look up to you and idolize you. I know you'll fight and there will be times you hate each other, but that's OK. It's normal. At the end of the day, I just want to know that no matter what, you'll always love and be there for each other.


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